Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
