please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize