he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
