Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
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It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
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Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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