don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
