It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it was like having sex with a tree stump
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
