I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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