You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize