i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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