You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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