Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want nice things and good sex
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
