what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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