My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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