My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We don't watch enough power rangers
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
