You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
