Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Sober January is a disaster.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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