That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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