I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls are so social today.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
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