508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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