did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
