Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish my penis had a tongue
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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