just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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