Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
