Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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