I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
