Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
