He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
