just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
