i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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