Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
