So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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