I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
