Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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