I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
