The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
