Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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