She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
