i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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