Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
