i just had sex bonerless
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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