I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
