This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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