So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize