I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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