I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
