i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
