that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
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You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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