You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
