i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
where am i from again
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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