Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
