Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize