We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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