I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
