I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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