no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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